“There is no failure except in no longer trying” ~ Elbert Hubbard (tweet this)
We all give up.
Look back on your life — how many times have you given up on something? More times than you can count, I’m sure. I personally could start rattling off any number of things: from musical instruments, to sports, to intellectual endeavours.
Generally speaking we give up because of a lack of motivation and/or willpower. But how often do you actually look closely at those factors and seek to understand the underlying issues that prevent you from achieving something you set out to do? To my mind, you have the best chance of achieving your goals when you have a full understanding of (a) what drives you and (b) what holds you back.
And that is exactly what I want to write about (and help you with) today.
The Power of Motivation and Willpower
Anything you do (or don’t do) in life is driven by motivation and willpower. But those are just words — what do they really mean?
In the context of achieving goals in life, I define each word as follows:
Motivation: your perceived understanding of the benefits of what you set out to achieve
Willpower: a mental reservoir of the necessary impulse to work towards achieving a particular goal
Motivation and willpower must be combined in order to achieve anything in life — they are inexorably connected and rely upon each other in order to produce a desired end result. Without motivation you have no willpower. If you have no willpower then there is no motivation.
With that in mind, the failure to achieve something simply means that you did not have the required motivation and/or willpower. Therefore, in order to succeed in something you must ensure that you fully understand what drives you towards your goal and that your willpower and motivation provide enough “fuel for the journey,” so to speak.
Understanding Motivation and Willpower
In simple terms, if the motivation is great enough then willpower will prevail.
Let’s consider a practical example. Say you had launched a blog about a month ago. Over the past few weeks the initial burst of traffic had slowed to a trickle and you were starting to feel a little disinterested. You had stuck to a biweekly publishing schedule and the time had come to write another post, but you really didn’t want to. In short, your willpower was failing you. Why? Because the necessary motivation wasn’t there. You were not clearly seeing the benefits of your efforts.
Under such circumstances you might choose not to write that post, thus commencing a slippery slope to the eventual death of your blog. That came about because you lost motivation, and as such, the willpower to continue.
Now imagine a similar scenario — a month into your new blog’s existence, you had experienced a huge influx of traffic. You’d already been featured in several major blogs and you were getting loads of positive feedback. In such a situation would you have the necessary willpower to continue? Yes — because the motivation is there.
How to Guarantee Progress
If you can provide enough motivation to fuel the willpower that is necessary to achieve your goals, you will achieve your goals. That’s the simple equation. If you can make a goal important enough then nothing will stop you.
Consider just one of the things that you want to achieve that you’re not working towards right now. Then imagine someone was holding a gun to your head, telling you that if you did not achieve that thing, they would kill you. That in itself is proof that there is potential motivation in the world that will drive you to achieve your goal (or die trying). The most important thing you can do is find and apply the necessary level of motivation.
That was the first thing I did (rather inadvertently) when I decided that I wanted to quit my job. I knew it was going to be hard — in fact, a big part of me thought it impossible — but I was so motivated that I threw everything I had into it. The reasons I had for doing what I did were strong enough for me to prevail. That’s the position you need to get yourself in.
What’s Holding You Back?
And that takes me back to the title of this post. I receive lots of emails from LWB readers who tell me that they would do X if only Y wasn’t a problem:
I’d start a blog but I don’t have time.
I’d quit my job but I need the money.
I’d fire that problem client but I can’t afford to.
I’d create an information product but I don’t know where to start.
Each of these statements is an excuse that justifies inaction. They are a truly destructive force that can stop people from achieving what they want in life. And almost every time they are a downright lie.
You do have time, you’re just choosing not to make it.
You don’t need the money — you could probably cut back considerably and live off a lot less.
You could afford to fire that client if you were proactive in finding a replacement.
You do know where to start in terms of creating an information product: start researching.
If you are prepared to dig beyond the excuse that justifies inaction, you may find that you have the necessary underlying motivation and willpower after all.
When I’m writing about this topic I like to refer back to an analogy I once used in an email to my subscribers:
Say for instance my brain doesn’t give me the required willpower to rock six pack abs because it simply doesn’t have faith. My brain doesn’t believe that six pack abs are possible without exerting more effort than the benefits I would gain from strutting my fine self up and down random beaches, and taking my shirt off at entirely inappropriate moments.
But what if a friend of mine, with a similar previous build and diet, showed up one day and boasted about a miraculous ab workout that has done wonders for him? Not only was it far easier than he thought it would be (lesser required investment), but it also gave him far more confidence than he thought possible (greater benefit).
You know what I’d do? I’d take interest. Who wouldn’t? I’d digest his advice, and my brain would suddenly have a whole lot more information with which to make a more informed decision. Perhaps under those newly formed circumstances, the required willpower would be matched by my actual willpower.
My point is this – don’t let your brain rule the big decisions in your life without consciously questioning your existing understanding of the matter at hand, and asking yourself if you have equipped your mind appropriately.
In order to succeed, you must find the necessary motivation — it won’t typically find you. Doing so is not a passive process; it is something you must work at.
With that said, now is the time to figure out what is holding you back. I want you to closely examine your excuse that justifies inaction and uncover the reality. I want you to turn this:
I’d start a blog but I don’t have time.
Into this:
I’d start a blog but I don’t have time.
Well, obviously I could make the time if I really wanted to. But I’m wiped out when I get home after work and I just don’t have the willpower.
Perhaps I could start small though. I could wake up thirty minutes early and spend that time on the blog before I go to work. And then maybe an hour at the weekend. That would barely seem like any time invested at all but it would add up to 3 1/2 hours per week.
But what would be the point? Blogging takes forever to make you any money — where would I be going with it?
Well, perhaps I could start building up a little side income by offering freelance writing services on the side. If I could make just a little money then at least I would be able to see the light at the end of the tunnel. And in the meantime I could be building up the blog with a view to creating passive income streams down the line.
In the above example the lack of time hid the real issue — a fear that there blogging would not actually be worth the effort. The following flow of consciousness provided one potential solution just by refusing to allow the initial excuse to block off any further proactive thoughts.
Over to You
I originally intended for this post to be short and sharp, with the main conversation to flow into the comments. I wanted to set you up to let me know what you think is holding you back so we could explore the issues further and see if there is a solution.
Well, the post ended up being a lot longer than I originally planned but I still want to hear from you. I want you to tell me four things:
- What you want to achieve
- What is holding you back (your excuse that justifies inaction)
- What is really holding you back
- How you can provide yourself with the necessary motivation to succeed
By doing so you may just find that you have necessary motivation to achieve your goal after all. Fire away in the comments section below!
Hi Tom, I love your blog. This is my first time commenting.
For me the big issue here is time. I know that we could arranje time, but if you work from 9 to 6 ( yes, in Portugal is from 9 to 6, and we stay a little bit longer ) we arrive at the end of the day completly tired, and the only thing we want is to spend a little bit time with the family.
For that reason, I have a question for you. I want to start a blog, what do you think is the best way…Start now, with little time for creating content ( it could be a post, from week to week or from 2 weeks in 2 weeks ), with little time to improve the design….
or create the blog “offline”, preparing a month of posts, working in the design and then, with the “final” version, put it online?
I want to start this blog, is a thing that I desire…but I’m afraid that if I start today “online”, my blog could suffer, becaus people don’t see the content flow…
Could I have you oppinion?
Thanks
Nuno
Hey Nuno,
I say make a start. You don’t have to do a “hard launch” now — just start getting content out there. Get into the rhythm of it and start building your experience.
As for making time, have you considered working on the blog before you head out in the morning? How about an hour or two at the weekend? Or your lunch break? I also worked about 9-6 on average and I would often stay on for an extra or two to work on my blog. I also utilised the suggestions above.
Cheers,
Tom
I want to achieve my bucket list which I have posted live.
Work and life in general holds me back.
What really holds me back is worrying what others think as well as me thinking about things that may or may not happen in the future. This causes me not to accomplish my list at a faster rate.
I am honestly pumped about what I have accomplished up to this point in my life, but I feel (hopefully) that there is more in store for me yet.
Keep up the great work!
Thanks Brooks 🙂
1. Generate a side income trough freelancing. Specifically 500 Euro’s a month (645 US Dollars).
2. Lack of time and energy. Not having the reference experience of succeeding at this goal.
3. Fear of wasting my time on something that might not work out. Fear of discovering that I can’t achieve my goal.
4. Just get started. Set aside some time and plan out the tasks that I want to accomplish in the time that I have set aside. Don’t be too concerned with the results(profit) in the beginning. Instead of that focus on the process. Especially the process of completing the work as I planned. Avoid procrastination and build the habit of just getting things done.
That’s bang on Jonthan!
What you want to achieve
>To build my online business
What is holding you back (your excuse that justifies inaction)
>No knowing what to do
What is really holding you back
>Not getting started. Once I start it will be fine. Just need to start.
How you can provide yourself with the necessary motivation to succeed
>I educate myself to get rid of objections which makes it easier to succeed.
This one was a thinker, thanks Tom
My pleasure Iain 🙂
Here are my two cents.
I want to become a doctor. I am forty and I am about to finish my second year. 4 more to go.
As I need some time to study I want to live on a passive income from my two authority websites, one in medical field and the other in the gaming field. I believe I can manage both things successfully.
It is often very difficult for me to focus on both of these things. This is why I created a special way of studying. I study a topic and I write an article for my blog. This way I kill two birds with one stone – I can study for school and generate content for my blog. What is more I can practice English as the blog is in three languages and by translating the post from Czech to English and Slovak I improve my medical knowledge as well as my language skills.
Thanks for this great and motivating post Tom.
My pleasure Michal, and best of luck to you!
Michal,
This is a great idea.
I’m trying to get a business friend of mine to do the same.
He wants to start an import/export business.
He’s got the logistic background with a large Danish shipping company, but I told him that he should blog about the entire process (different product types, regulations from different companies, etc.)
He will learn, help others, create authority, etc. — who knows what it would lead to.
Good on ya.
I think the biggest thing holding me back from sticking to my previous websites was being demotivated by lack of forward progress. I would seem to plateau on visitors and not seem to advance anymore in the rankings. So that coupled with me being a little burnt out on it made me decide to take a long break. Well third try is the charm right? Not gonna let anything hold me back this time, need to stick with it and make it work this time.
Next time you plateau, rather than giving up try doing something different. Plateuing means you have tapped out your current strategies for growth and need to move on 🙂
Hi Tom
Another thought provoking post only this time your taking the thinking out of it by asking the questions; cool!
So here goes….
1 – My problem is one minute I want to be the next Darren Rowse, Pat Flynn or Tom Ewer then I get a grip of myself and convince myself I want to be the best me I can be.
From here on in I guess this is what I want to achieve “To Be The Best Me”. I know in order to achieve this I need to help others be the best they can be so maybe that’s my plan:
” To help others achieve their goals, in turn helping myself”
2 – It might sound strange but what’s holding me back is not inaction rather it’s too much action. I am trying to do too many things at once, working on too many blogs and god knows how many ideas.
3 – Running before I can walk, lack of patience and trying to catch up on lost blogging time.
4 – I need to curve the enthusiasm and focus on one project at a time.
Thanks Tom that was cathartic.
Rob
My pleasure Rob. I can relate to the “being the next [insert name here]” — I used to be the same. Then I realized that I don’t want their life — I want my life. My own unique life. My life rocks! 🙂
I think the biggest thing holding me back from sticking to my previous websites was being demotivated by lack of forward progress.I was trying to find where was my interests and advantages.I just couldn’t realize what should I do and what could I do.Now after several attempts,I have the right direction and I’m gonna put all my focus on.
Go for it!
Hi Tom,
1) I want to achieve freedom of time and work doing something I am good at to earn a better living than my “bairly making rent” J.O.B. affords me.
2) My excuse right now IS motivation and uncertainty. I haven’t narrowed down the topic that I am movtivated to write about and stick with enough so that I can do it as a freelancer for others and for my own business.
3) What is really holding me back is not knowing myself enough and not being able to focus to figure out what would be the blog topics that I would be motivated to write and freelance and be profitable.
4) I’m only guessing, but I can only provide myself the motivation by trying to write a bunch of articles offline and then online until I feel that I like my writing and want to go further.
… Any thoughts?
Thanks,
Mark
Hi Mark,
Why not start by creating a blog on a topic that you are passionate about? You can use that to get comfortable with blogging and for use as samples, and it will ease you into writing without the pressure of feeling that you need to find a client immediately.
Cheers,
Tom
Thanks Tom. That is a good idea. Thanks for the encouragement. I’ll let you know what happens.
Hi Tom! Congratulations on a really awesome post.
To answer the four questions:
1. I want to have a successful and lucrative freelance writing business (specifically writing articles, resumes & other business documents, and blogging.) I also want to earn a second income writing fiction.
2. What’s holding me back is my financial situation – my bills and very limited income forces me to spend all of my time writing for content mills. I feel like I don’t have the time to spend on something not making me any money right this second.
3. What’s really holding me back is a couple of things: being afraid to pitch/query because of fear of rejection; not knowing how to market myself; fear that I’ll have to return to working at a job to earn a living; not fully knowing what to do to or how to do it.
4. To provide myself with the necessary motivation to succeed, I need to get educated, first and foremost. I need to spend more time reading and really studying content and informational products like yours to learn what to do and how to do it. I also need to take plunge and do it afraid, versus waiting for a time I’m not afraid. I also need to work on consistency in creating and posting content.
I would love to hear from you on any additional tips or suggestions.
Thanks!
Shawanda
Hey Shawanda,
I like what you’ve written there and think it would be a good direction to go in. I would however say that bills shouldn’t force you to write for content mills — quite the opposite. They should force you to write for clients who will pay more!
Beyond getting educated, I would work on those issues with rejection. Get into a habit of submitting pitches for work you’re sure you won’t get and you’ll soon fine that it’s not that big a deal. And who knows, perhaps you’ll land something…
Cheers,
Tom
Your suggestion on submitting pitches is very clever; I’m gonna try it out starting this week. You also made perfect sense in your response to writing for content mills. That’s one of the things I need to work on – learning how to find clients that will pay more.
Thanks Tom!
My pleasure Shawanda 🙂
Great post, as usual. Your words are very timely in my case. So in response to your questions, I would say:
1. Establish a heartfelt/engaging blog in the personal development space.
2. Don’t know where to start (read: is it worth the effort?)
3. Lack of motivation, mostly.
4. Focus. I have several ideas but no real direction. Right now, I lack a game plan. I haven’t given my goal the respect and time it deserves because I feel overwhelmed. I need to organize and decide upon a course of action.
I have been inspired! Tonight, I will begin to create my blog roadmap and clarify my expectations.
Gracias!
No problem Gilberto 🙂
1 I want to be a freelance artist/ illustrator and perhaps the occasional graphic designer 😉
2 Overwhelmed by the start up costs of A) time and B) $$ and how to get clients
A) Being creative requires motivation, but mostly a lot of time. It takes time to create and learn new things to push your creative boundaries, and to continue to create
B) Being an artist requires resources – materials and also the right space and environment to work in. i.e. no good buying paints and a canvas without an easel + chair/stool + little table/s in a dedicated area where there’s enough space where you can’t mess up furniture and other areas of the apartment. Lol. Same goes for drawing – you need a decent desk that is ergonomic enough. To be a graphic designer, you need the software and perhaps a graphics tablet. Don’t know if you’re aware, but Adobe has moved to subscription only at $50 a month for the whole suite. It’s costly for start-ups. Well, if you prefer to do it legitimately and actually purchase it. 😉
Lastly, how to get clients. I’ve read a lot of creative blog posts and even with all that information and advice on how to gain clients, the Catch 22 remains unresolved in my head. There’s a culture within the creative sector where, unfortunately, creatives are often battling to weed out those clients who will take advantage. It is a constant thing! Even with seasoned creatives who have been working at their craft a long time.
3 I guess it summarises to self doubt and lack of self belief or self confidence. I need to remind myself that if other artists can do it, so can I.
4 Well, as a creative, I can focus on creating things. =) No point trying to sell paintings when there are no paintings to sell! I’ve made a small start and I’m documenting it on my new blog (sheilatan.com). In the meantime, I am trying to educate myself. Reading blogs and sites (and downloading ebooks) on creative freelancing, online businesses (that’s how I came across yours on freelanceswitch), art, design, digital media, also on how to run a business in general, I’ve taken up an Art course on Painting, and started reading up on Fine Arts and the Art world/industry.
You’ve got great content here! I will be a regular peruser of your blog. =)
This is a great post. It is so important to ask “What is your REAL barrier to achieving your goals?” and “What are you going to do about it?”
I also really like your example of a friend who has gotten himself into great shape sharing his experience with you. His success — which is totally genuine — opens your mind to new possibilities for you and your life. The more connections like that we can make, the better.
I plan to share this with my goals group because you have some terrific strategies here.
Thanks for the inspiration!
My pleasure Jennifer 🙂
This is an incredibly inspiring read! Not only your words, Tom, but I love reading all the comments. It helps to show I am not alone in my thoughts, demotivation and uncertainty. I couldn’t help but think about my college degree. I studied Marketing & graduated in December 2008, right in the middle of the huge economic down-fall. We were taught about business models that have proved successful, but that all has a different connotation now. Freelance & start-up businesses are on the rise due to the economy uncertainty from 08-09, that have proved successful. I would be interested to see how the curriculum has changed over the last 4-5 years.
My [mental] answers to your 4 questions are pretty much the same as the above comments. I plan on writing them down today & marinating over them.
I do have one question for you: What about competition with the overwhelming blogosphere posts & otherwise interweb data? I feel like there are a lot of the same start-up desires & similar content out there, so it seems [to answer #2 above] that fear of competing with those that have proved successful/tenure, so why should I?
Would appreciate your thoughts!
Thank you,
Megan
[I do have one question for you: What about competition with the overwhelming blogosphere posts & otherwise interweb data? I feel like there are a lot of the same start-up desires & similar content out there, so it seems [to answer #2 above] that fear of competing with those that have proved successful/tenure, so why should I?]
Megan, I’d love to give you my thoughts on this because I have the same though cloud my head all the time.
Woody Allen said quite famously that “80% of success is showing up.”
I just got done reading a book by James Altucher where he says 99% of the success of an entrepreneur is showing up.
He also reminded me that there’s trillions (impossible for me to imagine, so I break it down — a single trillion is a thousand billions [which I can’t imagine] — a single billion is only a thousand millions [I have a better shot at grasping]) of dollars floating around in the economy.
He also said that his goal was to help save people every single day — in some form or fashion — in his own way.
I’ll add that if you can combine his goals with just a tiny particle of those trillions, then you’ll do fine.
We’ll all do fine.
Good luck Megan!
Hey Megan,
Glad to help 🙂
In response to your question I guess I could point to myself launching a blog in the extraordinarily competition “make money online” niche. I’m doing okay! It’s just a case of finding a unique angle (which is not necessarily as difficult as it sounds).
Cheers,
Tom