When it comes to building a successful online business, you can typically split “candidates” into two groups: those who largely believe in themselves and those who don’t.
Upon reflection, I would say that I fell into the first group. While I certainly had my doubts during that first and most important part of the journey to leaving work behind (quitting your job and building a successful online business), the negative voice in my head was never loud enough to discourage me from my overriding conviction: that I would succeed.
However, over the past few months I have spoken to more and more people who fall into that second category. I have witnessed firsthand how a great deal of potential can be wasted due to nothing other than a lack of self belief.
I hate that. I hate seeing potential wasted and I hate seeing someone unhappy in their life when they have the ability to enact positive change.
And that’s why I’m writing this post. If you are desperate to leave work behind but feel that you lack the self belief to make it happen, please read on.
What Makes You Tick?
Let’s explore how you feel.
There are probably a number of words that you might use to describe yourself when it comes to the prospect of leaving work behind: unable, incapable, or inadequate.
You may have more concrete “reasons” (dare I call them excuses?): lacking the necessary skill or technical know-how, lacking a good enough idea, or not knowing how to start.
The lists can go on (feel free to add your own).
However, leaving work behind is far less about your capabilities and far more about the belief that you have in yourself. It’s not about how good you are, because you are almost certainly good enough at something to leave work behind. It’s about believing that you are good enough.
Your biggest barrier to success at this stage is your belief (or lack thereof). That’s what needs to change — not your ability, technical skill, or whatever other excuses that you have told yourself stand in the way.
Putting It All Into Perspective
When it comes to building self belief, the worst thing you can do is convince yourself that what you want to achieve is a pipe dream.
It’s not.
As I have said before, there are countless people out there less able than you who have already achieved what you want to achieve. That is one of the most important realities that you must face up to and admit.
What you want to achieve is just a drop in the ocean of human achievement. There are people out there doing truly outstanding things: furthering the boundaries of human understanding, curing diseases, creating works of art. But we’re not setting our sights that high. Not even close.
All we want to do is create an online business that matches our outgoings and affords us a level of control that we do not currently have. In terms of financial goals, the first step will not even be to earn more than what you currently earn. It could in fact be to earn far less (if you are willing to sacrifice earnings in order to have a far better quality of life — something you should seriously consider).
Stop telling yourself that what you want to achieve is an absurd notion. Might it be difficult? Sure. Could it take a while to achieve? Yep. Probably. But it is not impossible and you are more than capable of achieving it.
Consider this: you’ve probably surpassed more difficult challenges in your life. I know I have — quitting my job and building a successful online business was a cakewalk compared to other things I have overcome. And yet I built it up to be something far bigger than it was.
The greatest “mental gift” I have now is the belief that I can achieve anything that I set my mind to. It is not a gift I had before I left work behind, but boy would it have been a fine belief to have. It would have made things a damn sight easier.
I am trying to give you that gift now. Stop telling yourself that you can’t achieve your goals. You’ll look back from a position of success, laugh at how you doubtful you were, then look towards future achievements that eclipse your original goal with utter confidence.
Defining Leaving Work Behind
Let’s consider for a moment what you want.
You’re probably fed up with the limitations and impositions of your job. You have a strong desire to live a freer life — one that you are in control of. One where eight (or more) hours of your every working day isn’t conducted at the behest of an employer.
The problem is that your perspective on how to wrest that control is terribly distorted. Leaving work behind does not have to be about launching a highly successful business or making vast amounts of money. You can leave work behind with a very modestly-performing business. In fact, you may consciously choose to operate a low-income business in order to suit a quality of life that is far more important to you than money in the bank.
If you can truly understand and embrace the above concept, you’ll be far better placed to leave work behind.
I am reminded of a comment on a recent post here on Leaving Work Behind left by Mark:
…I work 4 days a week, I make only $60k, no weekends, and I leave work behind once I close my door.
With that said, I would gladly leave that job behind, make half as much, and work the same amount from my virtual office.
My family of 5 live in the condo I bought in 1989 when I was single. It’s big enough for us. The mortgage is less than renting a 1 bedroom apartment.
We drive old cars. The newest car that I drive has over 180,000 miles on it. No car payments for over 20 years. I can afford a $1,000 repair bill and not even flinch. Our cars rarely break because I do preventative maintenance myself.
We buy all of our clothes from thrift stores. My wife makes all our food from scratch. We are in several food buying co-ops. I roast my own coffee at home. No starbucks or buying expensive lattes and what not.
Mark’s got his head screwed on straight — he understands the clear distinction between making money and being happy (and that one does not necessarily lead to the other).
His story is just one example. How about a family of six living on less than $28,000 per year or a family of four living on just $14,000 per year?
I’m not saying that leaving work behind is about living frugally. What I am trying to do is give you a broader perspective on what you can do to leave work behind. It’s not necessarily about building a six-figure online business. It’s certainly not about working yourself into the ground trying to build a six-figure online business.
Consider this: if you examined your finances and what you truly needed to live, you might discover that you could leave work behind tomorrow if you truly wanted to.
Perspective has a huge part to play when it comes to leaving work behind. Be sure that your perspective isn’t skewed by conventional thinking.
Focus On What You Can Definitely Do
If you break leaving work behind down into its constituent parts, there are three major things you can (should) do:
- Reduce your outgoings
- Build a financial safety net
- Create a source of income that matches or exceeds your adjusted outgoings
You can definitely reduce your outgoings right now. You can probably start to build a financial safety net (or at least work towards paying down your debt so that you can in the future) now too. And while you may blow the third step out of proportion, creating a source of income is far easier than you may think.
So if you’re lacking confidence in your abilities in achieving the third step, why not focus on what you know you can do to start with? You may find that doing so gives you the necessary momentum to work on creating money as well as saving it.
But What About That Third Step?
When it comes to creating an income stream, the issue is often not finding an idea, but believing that you can actually succeed.
Let’s consider some of the potential issues that stand in the way:
- Viability
- Market demand
- Competition
- Your own ability
- Your willingness to give it a go
I want to focus on that last one, because all of the other potential issues are irrelevant by comparison.
I major on the concept of building bootstrapped businesses, so when we’re talking about giving it a go, all other considerations may be potential roadblocks, but they’re never dangerous. After all, you’re not going to be pouring your life savings into your business — probably less than a few hundred dollars (if that).
So when it comes to facing up to your demons (i.e. how you think you’ll fail), we’re not talking about a fear of financial security — we’re talking about the fear of failure.
That’s it. The worst thing that can happen to you is that you fail. And if you do fail, you’ll be in a far better position than you were before. You’ll have the myriad benefits of experience and will be better placed to succeed in the future.
Although I may not convince you that you’re ready to take the leap, I do hope that I open your eyes to a rational understanding of risk in the context of leaving work behind. it’s not about losing your way of life — it’s about risking failure in the pursuit of success.
It’s On You
Ultimately, these are just words.
If you strongly believe in your perceived inability to succeed then it will be very tough for me to persuade you that you are capable of anything.
Perhaps it’s not time for you yet — not in terms of your ability, but in terms of your belief. Or perhaps it’s not time for you yet because you simply don’t have a strong enough motivator. Because let’s face it, leaving work behind is tough.
Do you really hate your job that much, or are there simply some elements of it that you dislike (like any other job)? Please be honest with yourself — it’ll help. Don’t make excuses. If you’re not ready yet, admit that you’re not ready. It’ll make waking up and coping with each day far easier (i.e. “This sucks, but clearly it doesn’t suck enough“). Furthermore, your enlightenment may even give you the necessary push to take the leap (i.e. “This sucks; perhaps i didn’t care enough in the past, but perhaps I should“).
With that said, I am sure there are a number of you reading this who are ready. You just needed a push.
Consider this your push.
What Next?
Let’s not overcomplicate this process — just work on the first step.
If you’re not working on reducing your outgoings and building a financial safety net, start doing that now. But that’s a piece of cake. Your first real step is to start building your online business.
With that mind, answer this simple question: “What is the next action I can take that will contribute towards the creation of my online business?”
Do that thing. Complete it. Then repeat the process. At the most basic level, that’s all there is to it.
Photo Credit: seeveeaar, Pelintra, Danielle Wagasky
Tony R says
Thanks for the push Tom!
I needed it as I have hit a ‘slump’ lately. I believe my problem is with self belief. I have a blog, writing ebooks, have a web design business, doing affiliate marketing, studying SEO and social media marketing , all while working 40 hours a week at my full time job. Lately I feel my efforts are in vain as I have only a few visitors to my blog, only sold 2 ebooks, made a whole $3 from affiilate marketing and been lackluster on my web design business. I am fearful that I’ll give up on these things if I don’t see more positive results and incidentally these results affect my self belief (i.e.nobody wants what I’m doing, I’m wasting my time, etc…)
Victoria says
Well darn Tony, where is the link to your site? Anyway, I have heard through the internet that success may be just around the corner, never give up. And, with that said, are you going it alone or do you have a mentor to guide you along the way, I also heard that that was another important tool, or in this case person to have, just food for thought.
Victoria
Tony R says
My blog is at http://www.tonysreviews.com but honestly I’m thinking of going a different direction with it. It’s a self help site with my flavor of story telling thrown in. I created it to inspire others that have issues with anxiety, depression and panic attacks. I may continue to write for it until the end of the year then take a different direction?
Thank you for your inspiration and encouragement!!!
Tom Ewer says
Hi Tony,
Your perceived failure could well be down to the fact that you are trying to do too many things. My advice would be to focus down on just one of your business models and really try to make it work.
Cheers,
Tom
Tony R says
Thanks Tom,
You are right, I have too many ‘irons in the fire’. I am going to concentrate of 1 or 2 endeavors and put the others on the back burner. I’ve heard so much about having multiple streams of income and that coupled with me wanting to get out of the rat race put me in over drive.
Tom Ewer says
I’ve learned the same lesson the hard way Tony. Diversification is all well and good, but there is no point in diversifying until you have one strong income stream.
Kirsty Stuart says
Great post Tom. Before I quit my day job to work online I thought the whole notion was bigger and more out of reach than it actually turned out to be. Like you pointed out at the end of this post, it’s really just a series of actions repeated over and over. Nothing mystical or ‘pipe-dreamy’ about that!
Tom Ewer says
None indeed — you can’t beat iterative growth!
Craig Adam says
Once again, another fantastic post Tom.
Too many people are afraid of failure and it holds us back because we live within too many irrational comfort zones. Most ventures that we start up will never cause us any physical harm so why are we afraid to even try? I guess it could potentially dent the ego somewhat but like you said – every failure is a huge learning curve and we’re far better off failing and learning from it, than cowering away from the mere thought of being ‘successful’.
I love your blog its a massive source of motivation and self belief!
Cheers
Tom Ewer says
Thanks Craig; glad to be of service 🙂
Daryl says
Great post Tom!
Thankfully I do already have that self belief – but do know persons who have a hard time struggling to engender that belief in themselves. I think at the very core is the willingness to fail – the willingness to put yourself out there, whether or not you succeed, as long as you try your best. There are a lot of people who are afraid of failure, or believe that they will be embarassed by failure. Tuning out those negative beliefs or whispers is something that can be improved over time, but you have to be willing to make the first step (And then the second, then third, etc)
Tom Ewer says
I agree Daryl — fear of failure can be crippling. Overcoming that fear can be one of the most positive steps you can take.
Justin Hebert says
I developed a credo for my own success formula a few months ago:
Believe in Yourself.
Believe in Your Product.
That’s pretty much it. In the case of freelance writing, the first has to flow into the second or else you’re wasting everyone’s time. I’ve also found it more important to measure overall progress than day-to-day milestones and setbacks. Am I better off (in every sense) now than I was before I started my venture? If not, what should I change/learn/create in order to get back on track?
What I love about entrepreneurship is that it forces me to pursue self-improvement far more than any self-help book or inspirational writing. I am a better me, and I’m becoming my best me every day.
As always, Tom, thanks for sharing your experience with us. It’s fuel for the fire.
Tom Ewer says
That’s a pretty solid formula Justin! Seems like you know exactly what you’re doing 🙂
Jackson Anderson says
Always a great read Tom, you never fail to inspire.
Your words just come off the screen as so genuine and I guess your truly speaking from personal experience and just look at where you are now?
I know for myself personally the next step is the financial safety net, with a mortgage with my girlfriend it’d be unfair not to leave the 9-5 right this time and be prepared.
With that said my blog is finally under way, pitching clients is starting to begin and I’m learning another skill that I’ll be able to offer to clients with advertising not just writing.
The future looks pretty bright! Just got to get those first few wins to really drill in the self belief that little bit deeper!
All the best mate!
Cheers
Tom Ewer says
Best of luck Jackson — let me know if there is anything I can do to help!
Kelli says
Hey Tom,
Thanks for the encouragement. Some of us need a little more of it than others. Until I stumbled across your blog I had let my own talent and potential languish behind a curtain of fear for far too long. I’m peeking through a crack in that curtain now and I have to say – I’m liking the view.
I think it’s really important, like you say, to take a good hard look at your finances and figure out exactly what you need to pay the bills. You might be surprised at how little you can live on. Take me, for example,
For years I’ve only worked 4 days a week for minimum wage because my employer can never seem to find it in the budget to bump me up to full time. It seems no matter how many people leave there’s always some ‘re-structuring’ that makes it impossible. But all that fear had eroded my confidence to the point where even looking for a better job seemed pointless.
In September when I decided to take the plunge and start my own freelance writing business (after stumbling across your blog) I went through my bank statements and decided I could afford to drop down to 3 days a week!
I calculated that – at my current rate of frugal spending – it would take me 17 months to burn through all my savings if I never made a penny on my freelance venture. And the good news is, my freelance business only has to bring in £50 ($80) a week initially to make up for the day I’ve dropped.
I’m no gambler but I like those odds.
I’m on my way to building a rewarding career I can be proud of rather than continuing to slave away for nothing. I’m not aspiring to a six figure salary just yet – but I wouldn’t say no to five 😉
Tom Ewer says
Hey Kelli,
The process you’ve gone through is a perfect example of how one should weigh up the odds and make an informed decision. Bravo!
Cheers,
Tom
Kelli says
Cheers Tom!
This is a brilliant site re-design, by the way. Thanks for creating such a vibrant and welcoming community here.
Tom Ewer says
My pleasure Kelli 🙂
Jolene says
This is a great reminder for people struggling Tom! I luckily am in the first group, but there are definitely moments where everyone wonders if they can achieve what they want… and it definitely takes sacrifices to get there. I am there now, as I build up my own online life, but I wouldn’t change a thing… As a family of 5 we have never been happier and all the sacrifices will be worth it, and in fact, ARE worth it now… just to have piece of mind that I am doing work I believe in and love.
Tom Ewer says
Sacrifice is part and parcel of journey, as you no doubt know Jolene. It is worth it, although reminding yourself of that at low times can be tough. That’s what communities like LWB are for — to help people along! Thanks for commenting 🙂
Vukasin says
Wow, what a post, I’m amazed.
I believe I fall into the first category. However, I never quit my job and start learning and earning online.
Because I never had a true job. I started my journey 10 years ago when I was only 16 and I started with Internet Marketing. For the first year and a half, I earned a whole bunch of nothings.
But I didn’t quit. It made me realize that it won’t be easy but that it can be accomplished.
I had two options:
Start earning money online
Start seaching for a job and then when I find it, make my life looks horrible.
I’m still thanking God for choosing the first option.
Don’t give up on your dreams.
Tom Ewer says
Sounds like you were a very mature 16-year-old Vukasin. Good for you!
Chris says
Excellent post Tom, many thanks for posting this. I’ve bookmarked it for when I need a bit of re-motivating!
Sometimes just ‘doing’ is the hardest part, the getting started.
Cheers, Chris
Tom Ewer says
Yep — once you’ve gained momentum, things get a whole lot easier!
Debashish says
Great post, as usual, Tom.
I definitely believe that changing our mindset from “how can I do this” to “how can I not do this” is the single biggest factor that influences success in leaving work behind.
It reminds me of a Henry Ford quote, “Whether you think you can, or you think you can’t – you are right.”
Tom Ewer says
That’s one of my favorite Debashish! Really makes you think…
Jackson Davies says
Hey Tom, I think you touch on some very important points in this article. I will be saving up as of next year to try and improve my prospects when my degree course comes to an end at the end of 2015 but that hasn’t started me looking deeper at what I do and what I have been holding on to. Frugal can be fun. One important concept that I’ve considered is not over rewarding myself when things get done. That saves on a lot of money.
There is a famous saying that goes “How do you eat an elephant?” and the answer is “One bite at a time!”
Tom Ewer says
Hey Jackson,
2015 will come around before you know it! And I know what you mean about frugality being fun — it can be an interesting challenge to see how much money you can save!
Cheers,
Tom
Sheila says
Great post, Tom! At the moment, I’m reading a bit about The Work of Byron Katie and the whole message is basically that we suffer if we believe our thoughts to be reality.
A lot of people are unaware that they are labouring under their own thoughts and perceptions of reality, or ‘limiting beliefs’ rather than seeing reality for what it really is and making decisions accordingly. Sometimes we just need to internalize and believe in ourselves and that it is realistic to achieve our goals. (Also a personal project of mine.)
Tom Ewer says
Sounds interesting Shiela…it is amazing how perspective can have such an enormous impact on one’s life.
Emelia says
Thanks for the great post Tom. You always put things into perspective. I was beginning to doubt if my move to start an online writing business last week was wise. But, this post reminded me that i am building so i don’t have to worry about many things-at least not for now. My foundation structure does not have to attract tons of traffic. I just have to work on it until it becomes what i aspire. Once again, thanks for the inspiration!
Tom Ewer says
Hey Emelia,
My pleasure. Please let me know if there is anything I can do to help you!
Cheers,
Tom
Jedith says
I completely agree with you Tom. I like how you said there comes a point when your job just has to suck badly enough in order for you to truly realize that you have no other option than to leave. I have an ok paying job right now but not enough to sell out my soul and let my dreams just evaporate into wishful thinking. Point is, I know I have value to offer the world than trading time for money, to my corporate employer I am nothing more than another link in their moneymaking machine. I am at that point right now in my live where I know this is my very last ”regular job” and I have even purchased a calendar the specific date circled where I am going to be giving my resignation once and leave it all behind once and for all.
Tom Ewer says
A date on the calendar is always a good motivator!
Tom Southern says
Mark is living my ideal lifestyle! Can I borrow it?
Happiness is the greatest income.
This post raises the topic of Passion. Or rather: using your passion to build a business. This only works if you can see the passion in your business’ end product in two separate ways: Something you’re really interested in and a business object that has to appeal to other people.
The latter can make or break your business (and lifestyle) because if you can’t show others why they should care about your passion, you run the risk of your passion becoming a hate object to you. And that won’t make you happy or successful.
Tom Ewer says
I think we could all benefit from at least a bit of Mark’s lifestyle!
Your comment reminds me of a post I wrote earlier this year: http://www.leavingworkbehind.com/finding-your-passion/
Elvis Michael says
Tom, I needed a good read like this one. A lack of self-belief seems to be one of the biggest issues when it comes to succeeding on the internet, and yet very few people make a real attempt to address it. We often blame our lack of success on anything BUT our fear of failure.
Similarly, we also blame it on the techniques themselves, quickly coming to conclusions such as “This market is too saturated” or “There is no money here.” But we never sit back and ask ourselves, “Have I really given it my all? Have I tried to promote my business to the millions of people I could potentially reach via social media and all other social forms? Have I really presented my services to the best of my ability?” Most of the time the answer is “No,” and that’s when we start to lose confidence and no longer believe in ourselves.
Let’s face it, the sky is the limit nowadays, especially here on the Web. For example, I’m pretty sure Pat Flynn did NOT believe he would be where he is today just a few years ago. Likewise, you yourself, Tom, have become incredibly successful by simply applying your very best in realistic and manageable ways. Unfortunately, most people think of big success (or big money) and for some reason we immediately impose self-doubts, simply because “it must be too good to be true.”
Nothing is too good to be true, so long as you apply your very best while simultaneously focus on realistic goals.
Thanks Tom.
Elvis
Tom Ewer says
The sky is indeed the limit Elvis — the more people appreciate this, the further they will get!
Thanks for sharing.
Alex says
Hello Tom,
I recently discovered your website, and it’s giving me a lot of motivation (I really need it in this period) thanks to posts like this. I’ve always loved to write articles/reviews/news since I was a child, and I worked for amateur videogames and music websites, until I opened my own site a year and a half ago. It’s going pretty well and I put all myself in it, but I want to take a step forward and become a freelance writer in the videogame/music industry scene (especially the japanese one). I read all your articles about it, but I still can’t find a proper occasion for me in the job lists, so I hope to find a good one soon in the fields I’m specialized in.
I inserted the link to my website here, so maybe you can tell me what you think about it, if there’s something I should fix since I’m not a native speaker (I’m from Italy).
But first of all, thanks for this article, I truly felt better after reading it! I will keep following you from now on.
Alex
Tom Ewer says
Hey Alex,
Happy to have you on board! That’s a very colorful blog you have 😉 Looks good though!
Cheers,
Tom
Devin Berkani says
Hey Tom!
I know you’re a busy man so I’m going to try to keep this as short as possible! First of all, I want to say how much I appreciate what you do with LWB. I’ve been following you’re posts for quite some time now and what you do is absolutely brilliant. Not only is the content pure awesomeness, but I have your income reports bookmarked for constant boosts of motivation, so thanks for that!
Anyways, on to my point. What you’re writing about here speaks to me. It ties in with a post Jeff Goins wrote about first draft writing (http://goinswriter.com/write-less-not-more-how-to-slice-and-dice/). I’m new to blogging. I love writing and I love what I write about, but I was just so caught up in that first group. This was the cycle:
Pre-first draft: Inspiration and motivation.
During first draft: Annoyance and more annoyance.
Post-first draft: Bliss and happiness.
Repeat.
The fact of the matter is that I do need to put myself into that second group you were talking about. I know, every time, that the third step in that cycle will come, and I know that I need to get through that shitty first draft to get there. What you wrote about here really spoke to me, and I just wanted to say thank you for that.
Devin
Tom Ewer says
Hey Devin,
You are more than welcome; thank you for taking the time to share your story! Feel free to get involved in the community forums if you have more to share or need help: http://www.leavingworkbehind.com/community/.
Cheers,
Tom