Today I want to tell you a story.
I studied History and Politics at university. I had actually decided to study history, but my grades were so awful that I had to go with a combination.
To be quite honest with you, I cannot believe that I was accepted by any university (for those in the UK, my A-Level grades were C, E and U). Neither can I believe that I actually graduated with a degree.
But I digress.
On the very first day, there I am, picking my classes for the year. Obviously, most of them are related either to history or politics, but there were also some semi-related classes that I could choose from.
One of the classes I decided to go with was European Cinema. I figured that I liked movies, so it couldn’t be that bad. How naive I was. I quickly realized that modern cinema and films such as Battleship Potemkin have very little in common!
However, there was a saving grace.
I arrived at the class for the first time and sat myself down. This was a pretty impressive achievement for me, because my attendance record was spotty at best (in my first year, I actually managed to miss an entire semester for one particular class, because it was at 9am on a Friday, and Thursday was always a big night). After a few minutes, a girl walked into the class, took a look around, then came over and sat down next to me.
My reaction was something akin to this:
This girl was beautiful.
We started chatting. She was the classic “stunning but doesn’t know it” type. Completely unassuming, friendly and open. The lesson came and went.
The funny thing was, because European Cinema was pretty much unrelated to everything else I did, I barely ever saw this girl.
Here’s something you should know about me. I’m terrible with names. Truly awful. I try desperately hard to remember people’s names, but there is some sort of mental block in my brain that prevents me from doing so.
Which is exactly what I did in this case. I plain forgot her name, straight up. You know when it gets to the point at which you can’t really ask for someone’s name again? Yeah – I got way past that point.
So from then on in, she became known amongst me and my friends as “European Cinema Girl” (or ECG for short).
ECG quickly became the stuff of legend – I would tell my friends how this girl was truly stunning; they would revel in the mystery of it all. The elusive and near-mythical ECG.
Now I will never know if this girl liked me, but there were certainly moments when I could have found out. I remember one night I was at my favorite club, taking a break on a sofa. Of all people, ECG wonders over and sits down next to me. The conversation went a little bit like this:
ECG: Hey Tom!
Me: Hey! (Yep, don’t know her name – will just stick with hey)
ECG: How are you?
Tom: I’m good thanks, how are you?
ECG: Great! So…are you here with your girlfriend tonight?
Tom: No…I don’t have a girlfriend.
*extremely awkward pause that seemed to last forever*
ECG: …okay…well I’m gonna go.
Tom: Okay – bye!
I still cringe – some eight years later. And that wasn’t the only time that I could have, you know, actually grown some balls and made a move. But for whatever reason, I couldn’t bring myself to do it. ECG will forever be the one that got away.
If you have got this far – congratulations. You may be wondering what on earth this story has to do with leaving work behind. Well, it’s simple really guys. It’s a lesson you have no doubt heard many times before, but with good reason – it is perhaps one of the most important life lessons we can act upon.
I’d rather live in regret of failure than in regret of never trying.
If we all lived our lives with MJ’s attitude, we would achieve a great deal more. If you live a life largely free of regret, it will be a life well lived. And the only way to do so is to grasp each “ECG” situation in life with passion and enthusiasm. Don’t leave yourself with a “what if”. In that moment where doubt starts to take hold, when you start to over-rationalize – that’s the exact point at which you must dash those negative thoughts and charge ahead.
Chastise yourself for doing something stupid, but love yourself for having tried. That is what life is all about. That is what separates the over-achievers from the rest of us.
Oh, and by the way – her name is Jodie, and I do believe she is now engaged.
Creative Commons photo courtesy of mugley
I’m right there with you mate, know the feeling, been there, done that. I don’t think there’s one that haven’t got to that point.
By the way, to make things worse, the things that frighten you the worst are sometimes the things that bring you the best joys.
A miss is a miss, but who knows, life takes wild turns and I think the internet might help you grab a hold of this girl and just say what you wanted to say, even if she has a guy right now…. that is… unless you have a girl but that’s really up to you :D. Never leave a stone unturned.
That’s my motto since a few wide years ago.
Hey Ederico,
Sage thoughts my man…the moment has most definitely passed with that girl though 😉
“Never leave a stone unturned” – that is a great motto. I may have to steal it 😉
Thanks for dropping by.
Tom
I once hit rock bottom with forgetting names. Long story she found out after approaching me. From now on I ask almost immediately after initial meetings if I forget, but I mostly prefer to wait a while before asking a name the first time so I have something to remember them by. That story made me really like the name ‘Jodie’. How did you find out her name by facebook if you didn’t know it to begin with?
Hey Will,
Names just go in one ear and out the other with me…
How did I find her? I think it may have been via a mutual friend – I can’t remember to be honest! But as soon as I read the name, I was like, “oh yeah…Jodie…that was it…” 🙂
Cheers,
Tom
Hey Tom
Well mine was 32 years ago !! University in the Uk as well !! I did get better grades at A level but failed the end of the 1st year and had to leave 🙁 Best thing that ever happened to me in retrospect.
Its so easy after the fact to know the write thing to have said.
“No i’m single right now, Can i get you a drink :-)”
Might have been better than my own “uh no” line!
Im also terrible with names so bad Both my wives had the same name (or so they claim :-)) and even then ive been know to go to introduce them to somebody else and not get the name out LOL!
Hey it never to late you can always Poke Jodie and see what happens 🙂
And yes, trying is better than wishful thinking… oh i so wished i known that at 20,30,40 🙂
cheers
Hi Steve,
Many of the best things that happen to us feel like a disaster at the time, don’t they? I always try to remember that when disastrous things are happening, but it rarely helps 🙂
Thanks for dropping by!
Tom
Epic fail, Tom, but we’ve all been there 🙂
I’m glad you at least learned something from it, and it’s a great lesson (and the story made for a great post, too!)
Ha! Thanks Jeff! 🙂
Srry bro! 🙁 Everybody mistakes. I have done some dumb things with girls. But I don’t let that put me down. They’re pretty darn hard to understand, anyways. 🙂 haha
I love that quote by MJ. Keep trying and never give up!
Haha I meant Everybody makes mistakes. Fixed it. 🙂
No problem – thanks Samuel 🙂
Strangely, students do this exact same thing in class. They want to jump in but are paranoid that saying the wrong thing will destroy their entire world.
Maybe a beautiful woman is the same a math. Highly intimidating on the surface, but when you get right down to it, just as normal as anything else.
Reminds me of the story of my first f2f date from match.com. After 5 minutes the dude tells me that I was his math instructor a fews years previously.
From that point on, I imagined every date was with a former student. My students have all seen me at my absolute best and absolute worst. So going out with someone like that was easy.
Voila! No more anxiety with men.
Thanks for your mini-story Bon! It’s all mindset really – if you can find a way to rationalise situations appropriately, you can deal with them – regardless of how intimidating they initially seem.
Hey Tom – I guess if you create a poll on this subject, most of us (read: men) would confess of a small story, locked in some corner in their cranium casing (or maybe in the heart )
And like they say, girls mature faster than boys because our package of “enlightenment” is always dispatched by a cheap courier which is “genetically” designed to be late!
But like you rightly said, the morale of the story lies in the concept of being an “early bird” ….having said that, i guess, our slow speed of reaction comes from the inbuilt fear of rejection or may be over rationalization of the situation!
Cheers …
That’s some pretty deep stuff Joy 😉
So true. So many people never try for fear of rejection, but at the time what you do kind I feels right. It’s only after reflection do you know it was the wrong reaction. I say listen to your gut everytime but hindsight is a wonderful thing.
Great blog btw…
Hey Richard,
Thanks, I appreciate that though 🙂
Personally I often feel like it is the wrong thing to do, I just didn’t work up the courage to do the right thing 😉
Cheers,
Tom
Haha, I know the feeling too. Courage is always a tough one that I think is more of a big deal that what it actually is. Bit like making the decision when you finally ‘have the courage’ to go self-employed. You’ve been thinking about it for years and didn’t do it because you never had the courage. Then you take the plunge, and everything is alright.
Know the feeling?
Your story sounds a bit like the one in Peep show were Mark meets the girl that doesn’t know how beautiful she is and enrolls in her history class at college. Being Peep show, he ballses it up as Mark can never be happy or the show would end.
I remember that episode well 😉