It may seem like a simple question, but regardless of that, it is pretty damned pivotal to your success in life.
The way you take criticism can really make the difference.
So how do you take criticism?
- Does it get you down?
- Are you indifferent to it?
- Does it galvanize you onto greater things?
- Or something else?
How you take criticism is extremely important. Some of you will understand this, and perhaps some of you will disagree. Iād love to open this up in the comments section below and see if we can get some debate going.
Picture courtesy of MIT OpenCourseWare
Tom Ewer says
I’ll start! I don’t take criticism particularly well in the short term. I usually react quite badly (i.e. get quite downhearted or defensive). But once the dust has settled I can take the criticism to heart and learn from it. I would much rather short-circuit the process and go straight to the learning part, but for the moment at least, that is how my mind works!
Will Claxton says
I use to take criticism pretty badly! I cringe at the thought of how I handled it.
These days, even though I still don’t like criticism (because I’m stubborn and think I am right all the time lol), I am able to analyse and interpret what people are saying.
One of the many advantages of being an Entrepreneur, you can pick and choose what criticism you listen to and act on. If your an employee, you gotta take it all and say thankyou.
It also depends on the content of the criticism. If someone says “Thats shit”, then that isn’t helpful and that is where you need to be headstrong enough to just ignore it. But if someone says something like “Yeah its cool, but in my opinion, I would change X because Z” then that is an opinion that you can easily analyse and interpret and choose to act on if you so desire.
Tom Ewer says
Good points Will. There is one thing though – the toughest criticism (i.e. that is delivered in a non-user friendly manner) is sometimes valid, but always difficult to take. Steve Roy’s recent podcast interview with Penelope Trunk is certainly a good example of that!
But yeah, “that’s shit” can just be ignored! š
Michelle Dale says
More personally than I should I guess! I don’t mind criticism, but I do not like people who are rude or spiteful along with it – and that’s what can generally makes people go on the defence.
I have found there is one common relationship between people who do the ‘nasty’ criticism, they want to make you feel small only to try and make themselves feel bigger.
If you can keep that thought in mind, it’s a lot easier to put into perspective.
Tom Ewer says
Hey Michelle! Thanks for commenting š unfortunately, on the internet, there are a lot of ‘nasty criticizers’, so we all have to put up with a lot of it! But you’re absolutely right – when you receive a piece of rude or insulting criticism, it can help to bear in mind the real intention of the other person.
Thomas Sinfield says
I’m quite similar. I usually initially take criticism as a personal attack – because I have ‘made’ or ‘done’ what they are criticizing.
However, after a few hours/days of venting my frustration with people ‘not understanding’, I can usually see their point and make changes accordingly.
I think it is very important to take note of where the criticism is coming from before acting on it though. If it is from someone I am not familiar with, I usually run it past a couple of people I trust first.
Tom Ewer says
Hey Tom! Thanks for stopping by š I’m glad I’m not the only one š I usually get over it when I realize that even if the criticism is spot on, it doesn’t have to mean the end of the world. That usually triggers me taking it to heart and learning from it.
But you’re absolutely right, just because someone feels the need to criticize, doesn’t mean that they actually have a valid point!
Gregory Ciotti says
Good points, you definitely have to realize what might have spawned the criticism in the first place, some people just love to hate because it makes them feel better about inadequacies, whereas other people only open their mouth when they really think they are making a point, so criticism can be both a useless annoyance and a game changer if the person is making good points.
It’s always good to get an outside perspective as well, some people just don’t know how to be civilized about it haha.
Tom Ewer says
Especially on the internet…something interesting has come out of this for me – I have always treated criticism on equal terms – it makes a lot of sense that some criticism should be valued more highly than others (i.e. the criticism from respected peers, rather than some random unknown who has just emailed you to tell you how rubbish your website is ;)). Having said that, random criticism can still be valid!
Michelle (The IM Koala) says
With criticism, as with most things, it’s GIGO – Garbage In, Garbage Out. When criticism is delivered with a level head and a rational tone, it’s usually much easier to swallow, and almost always easier to act on. Ranting, raving & venting, on the other hand, will generally beget a similar response from me (even if I have to do my venting to a third party).
That said, I have mellowed a lot over the years. I was just recently thinking back to my childhood, when I took every little complaint or correction as a personal attack. Learning to separate yourself from your work (in terms of what people are actually criticizing) makes a big difference as well. If you’ve got a lot of ego tied up in what’s being criticized (which can easily happen when you’re creating something you think is valuable), it will generally take longer to step back and see the room for improvement.
Tom Ewer says
Hey Michelle! Great to see you in the comments again š
Couldn’t agree more with what you’ve said, especially about ego. It is rare that ego actually benefits you, so to remove it from the process as much as possible can be very useful.
It sounds like I don’t want to get on the wrong side of you though š
Richard says
A bit like others I used to take it badly but as I’ve become older your perspective changes
as does the way you react. All the books I read say turn it into a positive and I’m getting better at that, especially when for example, a customer complains.
Tom Ewer says
A customer complaint often represents an opportunity to better your business. It can also represent a customer being an idiot…it’s always good to distinguish between the two!