Before Fight Club was a cult film starring Brad Pitt and Edward Norton, it was a cult book written by Chuck Palahniuk.
For those who are familiar with the story, it might be considered an unlikely source of any kind of motivational lesson. However, its pages contain one of the most important things one should know about getting motivated and succeeding. In this post I want to share it with you.
How Raymond K. Hessel Got Motivated
Towards the end of Fight Club, our protagonist (played by Edward Norton in the film) approaches a grocery store worker named Edward “K. K. K. K. K. K.” Hessel as he waits for the late night bus and puts a gun to his head. What follows is (in my opinion) one of the most engrossing scenes in the book (a video of the scene is included below).
Fill in the blank. What does Raymond Hessel want to be when he grows up?
Go home, you said you just wanted to go home, please.
No shit, I said. But after that, how did you want to spend your life? If you could do anything in the world.
Make something up.
You didn’t know.
Then you’re dead right now, I said. I said, now turn your head.
Death to commence in ten, in nine, in eight.
A vet, you said. You want to be a vet, a veterinarian.
That means animals. You have to go to school for that.
It means too much school, you said.
You could be in school working your ass off, Raymond Hessel, or you could be dead. You choose. I stuffed your wallet into the back pocket of your jeans. So you really wanted to be an animal doctor. I took the saltwater muzzle of the gun off one cheek and pressed it against the other. Is that what you’ve always wanted to be, Dr. Raymond K. K. K. K. Hessel, a veterinarian?
Yeah.
No shit?
No. No, you meant, yeah, no shit. Yeah.
Okay, I said, and I pressed the wet end of the muzzle to the tip of your chin, and then the tip of your nose, and everywhere I pressed the muzzle, it left a shining wet ring of your tears.
So, I said, go back to school. If you wake up tomorrow morning, you find a way to get back into school.
I pressed the wet end of the gun on each cheek, and then on your chin, and then against your forehead and left the muzzle pressed there. You might as well be dead right now, I said.
I have your license.
I know who you are. I know where you live. I’m keeping your license, and I’m going to check on you, mister Raymond K. Hessel. In three months, and then in six months, and then in a year, and if you aren’t back in school on your way to being a veterinarian, you will be dead.
You didn’t say anything.
Get out of here, and do your little life, but remember I’m watching you, Raymond Hessel, and I’d rather kill you than see you working a shit job for just enough money to buy cheese and watch television.
Now, I’m going to walk away so don’t turn around.
…
Raymond K. K. Hessel, your dinner is going to taste better than any meal you’ve ever eaten, and tomorrow will be the most beautiful day of your entire life.
Powerful, no?
There are few (if any) greater motivators than the fear of death.
If someone holds a gun to your head and tells you that you must do something, you are likely to try your damnedest to achieve it, no matter what it is. Your survival instinct will kick in and you will accomplish things you never thought you were capable of doing.
And that fact carries with it one of the greatest lessons one can be taught about motivation: the strength of your motivator can make all the difference to your likelihood of success.
The Fallacy of Dieting
Consider for a moment the dieting industry, which is forecast to grow to $66b this year.
How can such an unnecessary industry exist? Let’s face it: when it comes to dieting, we all know what we need to do. Eat less bad stuff, eat more good stuff, exercise more. It’s a foolproof process if you’re willing to make the necessary sacrifices. Yet we spend literally billions of dollars on fad diets in the vain hope that they provide the key to stress-free weight loss. We’re looking for a shortcut; an easier way.
What many of us don’t appreciate is that the key to stress-free weight loss is motivation. We all know how to lose weight, but what we need more than anything is a strong enough motivator. We don’t need a foolproof dieting solution (which is a good thing, considering that no such thing exists). We need a gun to the head, just like Raymond K. Hessel got.
How to Waste Potential With a Lack of Motivation
A couple of months ago I went out for a few drinks with my girlfriend. We met up with a group of her friends in a bar and I got chatting to one of them.
Before long the topic of discussion moved onto our jobs. I explained what I did and he listened with interest. I then moved the conversation onto his job and discovered that he was a graphic designer, working in a job he hated. He needed a change.
I told him that he was rather fortunate, given that his particular skill set lends itself to freelancing perfectly. There was no reason why he couldn’t build up a client base on the side while working in his current job and quit when the time was right.
But I had something even better for him. At the time I had been looking for a graphic designer for the redesign of Leaving Work Behind for a while without any joy. I made him a deal: he would design a logo for my newest blog (Healthy Enough), and if he did a good job, I would commission him to work on the Leaving Work Behind design. Furthermore, I’d promote him as the designer to my audience (that’s you guys!), which would almost undoubtedly lead to more work in the future.
This should have been a dream for an aspiring freelance graphic designer. Not only would he get on the ladder with a client with ongoing needs, but that same client would be happy to promote his services to his not inconsiderable following. He certainly seemed keen at the time.
But that was seemingly the beginning and the end of the dream for him. After a couple of weeks I received a handful of unusable designs (which probably took a few minutes to cobble together). I sent him a response with my thoughts and he replied with assurances that he would give the project far more time.
Fast forward another six weeks and I had heard nothing. In the end, my girlfriend had to harass him into sending an email just to tell me that he “didn’t have time” to work on anything else due to his commitments to his job. That might be a reasonable statement if it weren’t for the fact that my girlfriend knew all too well that he was far from weighed down by other professional commitments.
The simple fact is this: he wasn’t motivated enough. He didn’t have a gun to his head. While he said he hated his job and wanted to quit it, that clearly wasn’t a strong enough motivator in itself to persuade him to take the relatively simple step of spending just a couple of hours on a logo design for me. Who knows where that could have led. He’ll never know.
Finding a Big Enough Reason
Many LWB readers are in a job that they want to get out of, but in terms of creating motivators, they never get much further than that.
In my opinion, that is where so many of us go wrong. While you may dislike or even hate your job, that does not automatically make it a strong enough motivator to undertake such an enormous transformation as quitting your job and building a successful online business. You may need more.
I recognize that better today than I ever have done before. When I look back to my motivators, I see much more than just a desire to quit my job (although that was certainly a big piece of the puzzle). In reality I had a number of motivators, all strong. I wanted:
- To prove to myself that I could create a business out of nothing and call myself a self-made success.
- A level of flexibility in my life that a 9-to-5 would never afford. I wanted the financial freedom to travel.
- The financial security to live a life largely free of the concerns of money.
The list goes on, but my point is this: I had something far closer to a gun to my head than my girlfriend’s friend did. All he had was an abstract notion that he didn’t like his job and wanted to quit it. That wasn’t enough.
Put Yourself in Raymond’s Shoes
In my opinion, being suitably motivated is often far more powerful a factor in determining your success than your abilities or experience. I truly believe that every single person reading this post has the necessary potential to build a better life for themselves. The key is not in whether or not you can do it, but whether or not you are willing to take action.
That’s where your motivators come in. While you’re not going to be able to recreate Raymond’s gun-to-the-head epiphany (thankfully), you need to figure out what really drives you.
Your motivator cannot be an abstract notion that exists ambiguously within your head. It needs to be as real to you as it possibly can be. It needs to be as real as a gun to the head.
So take this opportunity to think critically about your situation. I advise that you create a complete list of things that you like and things that you dislike as outlined in my previous post on the meaning of life. What changes can you make in your life to reduce the number of things you dislike and increase the number of things you like? Often there will just one, or perhaps a small handful of solutions (as there was for me).
Once you understand what you don’t like about your life and what you need to do to make your life better, your motivation should be far more charged. If it’s not, then you may want to question just how much you dislike your life (and if in fact you’re relatively satisfied with your current situation).
There’s no fooling motivation in the long run — you either have it or you don’t. If you don’t then your motivators aren’t strong enough. It’s that simple. Don’t beat yourself up about it and don’t be afraid to admit it to yourself. The human mind has a knack of achieving equilibrium — if you find yourself lacking the motivation to achieve something, perhaps it’s just not the right time. Perhaps your lot in life isn’t so bad after all.
Don’t fight for something that you’re mind isn’t really willing to fight for. Pick your battles.
The Darker Side of Motivation
It would be remiss of me not to highlight the clear causation that exists between motivation and stress. If you do find a strong motivator then you will likely to feel pressured into achieving your goal, which in turn can cause a great deal of stress.
It is unavoidable. It’s like the first law of thermodynamics (that energy can be transformed from one form to another, but not created or destroyed): the energy that motivation supplies must be transformed into something else. That energy most often transforms into the stress that such a high level of motivation unavoidably leads to.
Consider Raymond’s predicament. He now has an enormously strong motivator to go back to school and study to be a veterinarian. However, the stress laid upon him will be enormous, as he knows that failure could lead to death. He has been “blessed” with an extremely strong motivator, but at the same time, he will experience an extreme amount of stress.
This is not intended to discourage you from seeking to achieve your goals. If that motivation exists, it should not be ignored. For the most part, if it is ignored, you will still experience stress due to your inaction. It works both ways.
True Motivation Cannot Be Ignored
I’ll conclude by saying this: if you are truly motivated, your only option is to succeed in your goals. If you do not, you will be miserable. Fortunate, you will have so much motivation that your likelihood of succeeding will be high (on the assumption that you have not set yourself an absurd goal).
And believe me: most of our goals, when examined relative to the achievements of mankind, are laughably small. I’ve touched upon this before.
If you’ve identified your true motivators and they are strong enough, trust in them. Let them guide you. You’ll be amazed at where they will take you.
Photo Credit: Ack Ook
Christina says
Thank you for this reminder, Tom. It resonates totally with what I’m dealing with right now in my full-time (soon to be former) job. If working for a vindictive boss is not motivation enough, I don’t know what is.
Tom Ewer says
Haha, quite!
christian says
Nice piece Tom and so true. It gave me the motivation to pick op a small goal again :).
Tom Ewer says
Glad to be of service!
Lydia says
I love this!
I’m a Personal Trainer and just recently Left My Work behind to focus on my own business, and motivation is a huge part of that so I’m so glad that I came across this post.
Thanks Tom!
Tom Ewer says
My pleasure Lydia!
Rusty says
Nice article! Thank you, Tom. I enjoyed it.
Tom Ewer says
No problem Rusty 🙂
Jackson Davies says
Positive motivation is very important. Sure you can have some downbeat times but you’ve always got to remember the goal. A gun to the head is surely a great motivator but I’m sure there are other triggers for doing something better with our short lives. The important thing is not to leave it too late!
Tom Ewer says
Yep — there are definitely more favorable motivators than a gun to the head Jackson 😉
Vukasin says
These are some great tips Tom. 🙂 However, I never miss a motivation. It is the key to success. Love what you do. And if you love what you do, you will have motivation to do.
I understand the meaning of the life pretty well, and every morning I wake up, I’m happy and every night when I go to sleep, I go happy.
There is no money that can make this happen. It is about what you are doing in life and do you actually do something that makes you happy? If you are not waking and going to sleep happy, you need to change something. You will die and won’t do what you love to do. Don’t waste your life, it is really short. 🙂
Tom Ewer says
Too true Vukasin. Thanks for sharing!
Nick Loper says
Reg. the diet industry, “How can such an unnecessary industry exist?” Made me laugh at loud.
How does the saying go — “If you really want something you’ll find a way. And if you don’t, you’ll find an excuse.”
Great write-up, great movie. Never really thought much about that scene before!
Tom Ewer says
Thanks Nick!
C. the Romanian says
Motivation is the key to success and I learned that you can teach yourself to be motivated. You just need the right reasons and you will do it – I am surprised to hear so many of my friends say that they can’t find their motivation when sources for it are everywhere: your family, your kids, your desire to make more money, Fight Club…
Tom Ewer says
Hey C.,
I think it’s not so much “teaching” yourself to be motivated, but simply uncovering your motivation and allowing to flourish. Lots of people aren’t prepared to do that — they’d rather keep on living their unfulfilling yet ultimately bearable lives.
Cheers,
Tom
Erin says
Agreed!
Karl (business blog) Craig-West says
Brilliant post Tom.
I see plenty of folks like your graphic designer in my work with those interested in starting businesses. They hate what they’re doing but aren’t willing to take the (often simple) steps required to make the change.
Oh well, at least it’ll leave plenty of room for the rest of us.
Tom Ewer says
That’s one way of looking at it Karl!
Bree says
Lovely, truthful post, Tom. And some people think pop culture can’t teach us anything…
Tom Ewer says
They’re wrong!
gil says
Wow, eloquently put. A zero moment of truth that has caused me to examine my own cognitive dissonance. I know what I want and I THOUGHT I knew why I wanted it but as it turns out…frustration with a situation may not be the trigger I need to take action. I will have to dig deep on this one and really take a stark look in the mirror. Then focus my energy on solving the problem rather than complaining about it.
Tom Ewer says
Let me know how you get on Gil!
Deevra Norling says
I enjoyed this post. What you are saying is true. There are those who say they want to quit their job and do their own thing, but it’s really just a nice dream they have and that’s all it will ever be.
I’m glad you mentioned the ‘dark’ side of motivation, i.e. the stress and pressure. I decided to do the freelance thing and it has still not quite taken off so I am feeling the enormous stress and pressure to find ways to MAKE this work! Hearing you mention this means I am not the only one who has been through this and, more importantly, that it means I could be on the right track! A breakthrough has to come eventually!
Tom Ewer says
Just remember Deevra — if you’ve been trying to do the same thing for a long time and it’s still not working, something has to change!
Debashish says
Awesome post. I have experienced the gun to my head, and what a wake up call it was! Thinking about the decades of drudgery stretching out in front of me, if I didn’t quit my job and live life my way, made me feel like Raymond.
In fact, it is the dark side of motivation that pushes me more than ever to keep hustling to escape the 9 to 5 routine. The thought of failing and having to settle down for a 9 to 5 job is unbearable. That’s my worst case scenario and I intend to avoid it all costs. Thanks, for the dose of motivation.
Tom Ewer says
Sounds like you’ve got plenty of motivation Debashish!
Jackson Anderson says
Awesome post Tom.
Really love the Fight Club reference and enjoyed revisiting the clip.
You definitely put out a terrific opportunity for your girlfriend’s friend, such a shame he chose not to give it his all, as you said who knows where it could’ve led him!
I know for myself motivation is high as I’ve been out of 9-5 before and now I’m stuck back in it for the time being!
But it’s crazy the different levels of your motivation you go through when working for someone vs working for yourself.
Definitely something I’m now much more aware and conscious of!
When the time comes to leave the 9-5 again I will most definitely be able to find the motivation unlike last time where I let myself get too content!
P.S this would also be a very fitting post for Healthy enough (not that I probably need to tell you that)!
Cheers Tom!
Tom Ewer says
Hey Jackson,
Motivation’s a funny thing — one thing I didn’t mention in the post is that it can wax and wane. Rather than worry about that too much, I just like to make sure that I understand why I should be motivated, then let nature take its course 🙂
Cheers,
Tom
Jolene says
Great reminder Tom, for everyone! I think that people need to constantly revisit their motivation to gear them up for ‘doing’ instead of just ‘talking about doing.’ One great way to achieve this is accountability and support through a mastermind group… People who will continually motivate you to reach & exceed your goals!
Tom Ewer says
Masterminds are a great idea Jolene — I recommend them to everyone!
Bon Crowder (@mathfour) says
True motivation is indeed hard to come by. And for a girl from Houston who’s been robbed at gunpoint, a gun to the head would not be motivation enough.
But there are many other sources of motivation for callous folks like me. And for the most part I can’t tap into them consciously. I have to let them happen.
Perhaps someone in another part of the universe is sacrificing chickens for me, because my motivation does come out – in fact it kinda hunts me down, looks me in the face and say, “Guess what, Bon? Now it’s time to do this. NOW.”
Perhaps that’s my crazy dude with a gun to my head.
Tom Ewer says
If motivation comes and finds you, all the better Bon!
Michael Monturo says
Motivation is something I’ve been lacking lately. I’ve had the perfect opportunity this past month to build on my current online business, but have been taking it easy instead of getting really serious.
Your article has really hit home for me. Thanks Tom.
Tom Ewer says
My pleasure Michael 🙂
Anonymous says
A terrifying boss is probably the best motivator in the world. My last (hopefully final) office boss chewed me out for REMINDING HER that I was taking vacation the week of Christmas despite the fact that she had already approved it in writing (which she also denied until I showed her her own email). She also offered a 0% annual raise and told me about her tactics to ensure that our minimum-wage earning, extremely hard-working interns never earned more. Once I started getting knots in my stomach on my morning commutes and my marriage started to go sour, I knew I was done.
I looked into freelance as a backup plan, and then fell in love with the idea of it. It’s been a challenge, but not as tough as I thought it would be. And I don’t remember a time in my 30-year life that I have been as happy as I am now.
Tom Ewer says
Sorry to read of your experience with your boss but delighted to read that you’ve made the leap into freelancing!
Rob says
Hi Tom,
I’ve quite recently come across your blog and this post is perfectly timed. I’m a web developer currently working for a large cross media marketing company(that I won’t name) which is currently in serious financial trouble. I really want to get out on my own and freelance but I was really lacking the motivation to do so. After reading through your blog and in particular this post, I feel a sudden urge to get of my a** and do something about it.
Thank you for taking your time to write this post and I will be a keen reader of your blog for the foreseeable future.
Tom Ewer says
No problem Rob — just let me know if there is anything I can do to help!
John says
Fight Club is not motivation, it was a very wrong scene.
“Tomorrow will be the most beautiful day of Raymond K. Hessel’s life. His breakfast will taste better than any meal you and I have ever tasted.”
And herein lies the center of Fight Club’s logical fallacy. Odds are, Raymond K. Hessel isn’t going to just float through life now, thinking “oh my god, I’m so grateful I’m alive” and healing hurt animals.
Instead, his limbic system will likely stay in overdrive owing to the trauma of having a gun pointed at his head, owing to the realization that there is a crazy madman who talks to himself who knows where he lives and wants to kill him if he doesn’t become a veterinarian. My guess is that tomorrow will be the worst day of Raymond K. Hessel’s life. Anxiety will make decisions for him, for the rest of his life, even more than poverty already has. The protagonist ruining a man’s life to make a point to himself.
Why do some assume he’s gonna be a vet?
“Tomorrow will be the most beautiful day of Raymond K. Hessel’s life. His breakfast will taste better than any meal you and I have ever tasted.”
I doubt it. the clerk won’t be able to eat tonight because he was just held up at gunpoint. He’ll have to report this to the police and go through the bullshit hassle of getting a new license. He’ll probably be too terrified to sleep, afraid to walk on the streets at night, possibly suffer PTSD
Tyler is nothing but a terrifying lunatic monster who gets carried away by impeding on other people’s freedoms to justify his own ideals. He forces a store clerk to have a renewed appreciation for life, but completely ignores the possibility that he could have induced some serious PTSD that could negatively affect this man for life. He inspires men of fight club to feel free and instinctual, only to then mentally manipulate them into his slaves and make them think/believe in only his own words and ideas. These men cant even think for themselves at the end and they worship Tyler like a God instead of worshiping their own self worth and ideals. Tyler is a terrorist with a God-like superiority complex, which is a bad thing and a contradiction to his own ideals of human beings.
And the so called sacrifices of stealing their IDs and doing the same thing to others suffered from PTSD. Tyler is like “I just made him appreciate his life more!” No, asshole, you just gave the poor guy crippling PTSD for the rest of his life. Don’t think that clerk did get to vet school. Probably suffered from PTSD, then became an alcoholic.